So you want to know how to NOT be an overly possessive friend. Well, thankfully you came to the right place. Now first of all we need to define what an “overly possessive friend” is. Now, the 1997 Journal of Words defines an overly possessive friend (OPF) as “one who secretly forbids any/ all other people from befriending their closest friend”. This mentality stems from the OPF’s need to preserve the exclusiveness of the relationship. Current research from “scientists” reveals that 1 out of 5 friendships end due to friend-baggers (i.e. acquaintances who befriend/steal your friend). These numbers have explained the steady rise of OPFs over the last few years. OPFs vary in severity. These 3 following categories are examples of how one can becomes an OPF.
Category 1
If you are in this category then you are aware of a friend-bagger eying your best friend. Like the steadfast elk that you are, you raise your antlers; signaling to the friend-bagger “back off”. If you can identify with this situation, then you have nothing to be afraid of. Your friendship is probably still intact, and everything is relatively ok.
Category 2
At this stage your friend befriended said friend-bagger, they’ve formed a close friendship, and you say to yourself “when did this happen?” This stage is the where the bricks of exclusiveness you’ve been laying for 3 long years gets knocked down by some heifer.
Category 3
Your friend and said friend-bagger start to have their own inside jokes, they start eating together, and you’re not longer the main friend in the relationship. It may even seem as if you are completely being replaced.
We have defined and analyzed OPFs to the fullest extent. Don’t fret! I have solutions on how to fix this. The first thing you need to do is chill. Give the friendship some space. This doesn’t mean you should disappear out of your friends life, it just means you need to put the binoculars down, get off his/her Facebook page, and drink some tea. The second thing you need to do is take some time to do things by yourself. Have fun in your own company. When you become too dependent on other people, you tend to forget how to enjoy life in the singular lane. The third thing you need to do is buy the friend-bagger a one way ticket to Samoa, talk to your friend. You don’t have to say “aye yo, your new friend goes, or I bounce”; you can say “I miss us doing things together” or “we should catch up”, etc.
They key is instead of bashing your friend for forming a new friendship, let him/her know that you would like to hang out more. Instead of being overly possessive of him/her, create something that only the two of you can share, like: weekly trips to the gym, movie nights on Thursday, or lunch every other Monday.
-Cheers!
Cheeky Words 